18 Nov You Are What You Think About
“But I can’t do ___, I’m not fit enough, I’m too fat to_____, I’ve no choice, I’ll have no money, I’m stupid, I’m scared, I’m always etc, etc, etc”
These are a few examples of the things I hear on a daily basis in my work with clients. What clients don’t know is that every time they tell themselves these negative things, they are reinforcing them in their mind. The brain loves to be affirmed so it will go all out to provide you with these ‘truths’ on a regular basis.
Every thought you have you choose to have! No, no, no, I hear you say. That’s not true but really think about it. Even with all my years of experience I catch myself out. Only the other day I told my friend I had no wish to see someone because they made me feel anxious. Very, very quickly my good friend pointed out how “I allowed” that person to make me feel that way. It’s so annoying to be surrounded by therapists sometimes!! But absolutely right. Identifying what it was about them that provoked that response empowered me to think of how to react when we met. Much better, yes?
What Do You Believe About Yourself?
Is it true? Are you really stupid, too lazy, too fat, too poor, not lovable, too depressed, too scared? Or is it an excuse not to change or take action?
I love that I’m a last resort often for clients, but what I do know, is if someone does make that phone call and comes for a chat, they are willing to change. Not always, sometimes they have been pressured into coming by a family member or they want me to ‘do it’ to them and not actually wanting to take personal responsibility.
Usually though my clients are so ‘sick’ of where they find themselves they are willing to put the work in to make a new journey in their lives.
Start Where You Are
A favourite saying of mine “You cannot drive forwards looking in the rear view mirror” .
Your power lies in the future. Whatever your life has been until now you can put behind you. You are a product of all your thoughts and actions until now. Together we work on what your life will be like in the future and how you want to think and feel about yourself.
Yes occasionally I will do regression work with clients if we feel something from the past is creating a barrier to moving forwards but mostly delving into the past takes you back there and once again embeds even more of those negative feelings in your unconscious mind.
Try it yourself, close your eyes and think about an event that made you angry or very sad. Really see every detail, hear the sounds, feel it in your body, maybe there was a smell or taste associated with it. Bet you feel great now! Ha ha
Now do the opposite, think of a time when you were really happy or relaxed and chilled out. Maybe a fun event or a holiday or a loving moment. Again, make the sights, sounds, feelings vivid in your mind. Which would you prefer more of in your life?
Our Biggest Fear
Our greatest fears are usually manifested in the following phrases;
“I’m not good enough”
“I won’t be loved”
“What will others think”
How will staying with those fears empower you to live the life you were born to live? The more you feel you don’t deserve all the riches life has to offer the smaller your world will be. If you unable to give to yourself, how can you possible give to others?
Looking After Others
Years ago before I started on my own personal development journey I wasn’t in the best of health. I abused my body with food, booze etc. My priority was my kids. Looking after them and the business was all that mattered. The end of the day I collapsed exhausted into bed.
Then I heard these words through all the chatter;
“You are the most important person. You cannot take care of others, if you don’t take care of yourself. Look after yourself”
Three truths I embraced fully as I was sick and tired of feeling ‘sick and tired’. Do you think you are being selfish to take care of yourself first? Put on your own oxygen mask first then help others.
So be fabulous, be kind, be generous, be empowering, be fit, learn and grow. Be an amazing role model, friend or colleague. And if your path appears to be blocked or covered with weeds, book a FREE chat with me to enable you to flourish in the way you deserve.
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